Country living myths busted

So, when you think of living in the country you think of homemade apple pie and fresh corn out of the garden, and going to bed listening to crickets, and sitting on lazy porch swings. Let me share with you a real day in the life of a country mom.
8:00am- pack the 25lbs baby in your arms to let the goats out and feed them there morning grain.
10:00am Go for walk. Find dead snake. Son #1 picks up dead snake and insists on bringing it home. "but Mom, snakes are cold blooded. If we bring him in where it is warmer, he will perk up and be ok!"
11:30am- find an adequate tupperware container to serve as a "specimen container" for that really big bug they just found.
1:00pm-go out to put the goats away in the barn and notice there is a baby quail drowning in the water bucket. Son #1 fishes it out and it sort of flops its way under the barn. Country Mom promises to come back after naps to check on half drowned bird.
2:30pm: Country mom hears son #1 screaming and appropriatly runs out of the house at full dash with no shoes on, but with phone under her arm just in case she has to call 911. Son #1 is standing in barn holding almost dead little quail. He is crying. Country mom promises she will pray for the bird, "just put the bird down!!! Don't touch it!! Yes, we will go in the house and pray right after you wash your hands with hot soapy water!!"
3:00pm-try to remove goats from under car so we can go to grocery store. Resort to throwing rocks. When this fails, Country Mom gives up. She starts the car, slowly backs up, and continues on her way. Goats never moved.
4:30pm-Son #1 goes out to check on dead bird. Dead bird is gone. "Mom, Jesus answered my prayer!! I prayed that an owl would come and pick him up and take him to his house so he could live happily there forever!!" yes, I'm sure dead bird made a nice addition to the owl menu...
I mean ... family. Oh well, at least country mom didn't have to get a box and give it a proper burial.
6:00pm- All three sons in the bath. Let's wash off the dirt. o...look at that...I have white babies.
7:00pm-Son #1 comes walking into the living room with his shirt off and his arm up. He is pointing to something in his arm pit. "Mom, I have something biting me." he says calmly. Country mom takes a peek, then hysterically starts screaming, "I draw the line at tics!! Daddy, it is time for you to take over!" Country Dad steps in and ushers Country Mom out of the room, because her hysteria is upseting the children.
7:15pm-After completing a full tic check on herself, Country Mom sits down on the back porch with a tall glass of lemonade and tries not to think about her day.